It was the winter of 2001, and Thaddeus, a middle-aged divorced father and I were really enjoying our time together. When I was with him, I felt safe and secure. We were both Massage Therapy Instructor Apprentices and had a passion for the healing arts. Movie nights, Bible study and spooning in front of the fireplace at my home were our favorite dates as we quickly got to know one another.
I was pleased that Thaddeus and I did not argue about my choice to abstain from sex until the man God wanted me to marry was revealed. Thaddeus was patient and respectful of my decision. When he wasn’t working on Sunday, we attended church together and hung out at his mom’s house visiting his family. June of the following year, we were married.
Our intimate wedding with family and close friends was perfect for me because this would be my third stroll to the altar, and I didn’t need all the pomp and circumstance. All I wanted was someone to love, cherish and support me ‘til death do us part. I was committed to my “boo bear” because I believed that holy matrimony was sacred and that God would reward me for doing the “right thing.” It didn’t matter to me that he was ten years my senior; we had so much in common.
After our wedding and dinner with family, we retreated to our honeymoon suite at the Marriott Hotel. White aromatic candles were lit, sensual aphrodisiac essences filled the air and the mood was ripe for romance. Excited about how we would move to another level of intimacy, we looked into one another’s eyes, smiled and began to kiss and hold one another tightly. I could sense that my new husband was experiencing something that would not allow our marriage to be consummated, so I suggested that we retire from our long, strenuous day and pick up where we left off at sunrise.
Weeks went by as my love tried to get himself together, and I assured him that I could wait. More than anything, I wanted intimacy. I wanted to be able to talk to my husband, and for us to work through our first challenge together.
This is the catalyst that began my search for answers regarding sexual disorders. The anger, irritation, and isolation that followed led me to the discovery of what I consider to be my life’s work. Operation “fix my marriage” introduced me to the same challenges that millions of American’s face with touch deprivation. It helped me to identify my “primary love language”, and to learn the importance of verbal and non-verbal communication in loving relationships.
Let’s take a moment here and define a few words I will use throughout this guide to becoming a Touch Artist. I want to make sure we are on the same page from the beginning.
–Touch Deprivation is defined as suffering from poor, loveless or inadequate physical contact. It is often referred to as touch hunger or skin hunger.
-Healing is defined as the process of making or becoming sound, balanced or healthy again.
-Touch Artist is defined as a specialist in sharing healthy, loving, nurturing touch. Unlike a massage therapist or other bodywork professional, a Touch Artist teaches primarily couples how to tap into their creativity to create a sacred healing space for them to release the cares of the world and connect in an intimate, non-sexual way to Love (the all encompassing everywhere evenly present force that binds everything that is).
It was twelve years ago when I had a vision of taking what I believed to be a “God idea” to churches and offer it as a tool to restore intimacy among married couples in an effort to shrink the high rate of divorce. This journey has taken me to churches and marriage retreats across the U.S., and as I write these words, I am planning my first Touch Artist Retreat in Bali, Indonesia.
The results have been astounding, and some couples who were headed to divorce court chose to stay together after attending an Art of Touch class. The fire in their marriage was rekindled and they learned to communicate with one another powerfully.
After reading this book and doing the work, you too will see why learning to touch with love is the greatest gift one could ever receive. Just as we do not only see with our eyes, we also do not only touch with our hands. This revelation changed my life, and I hope it will do the same for you.
Order Touch Me With Love Today! Enjoy more intimacy, more communication, more love.